


Haunted

by AuraSweet13



Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: F/F, Past vague descriptions of rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-26 03:02:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4987588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuraSweet13/pseuds/AuraSweet13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Samar is pinned by the infected man, it brings up unwanted flashbacks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Haunted

Samar wasn't expecting for Perez to get the upper hand on her. But he did, and soon he was on top of her, pinning her down. Instantly unpleasant memories flared up inside of her, making it hard for her to process anything else that was going on around her. His hand gripped one of her wrists, which only added to the memories she was currently reliving.

_"This will be easier for you if you just stop struggling." The man's breath smelled of cigar smoke and alcohol. His weight was heavy on her, but she couldn't seem to unseat him. As she watched in abject terror, his hands went to his belt and he started to undo it._

She was only brought out of her flashback when she felt him infect her with the virus. It was working fast, she could already feel it in her system. Even as she turned her face away from him, he didn't let up. Until the mask was empty. As soon as he stood up, she pushed away from him. But her relief didn't last long. A gunshot rang out, and she felt a nearly blinding pain in her side. There was another gunshot, but she didn't feel any more pain. And in that moment, she realized the second gunshot hadn't been directed at her.

"Officer down, I need a medic!" Liz's voice was a comfort to her, despite the fact that she was still angry at Liz for letting Beck take the plague. But Samar knew she couldn't let Liz anywhere near her. So she struggled to her knees and scrambled over to the door, closing it and leaning back against it to keep it closed.

Her heart was still pounding from her flashback, or maybe that was the plague she was feeling. "You can't come in here."

She looked out at Liz, watching her sink to her knees with her hands on the door, and Liz spoke. "Samar, you're going to bleed out, you need to open this door."

"It's out." God, everything hurt. "I'm infected. If you come in here, you will be too." Samar couldn't make sense of the expression on Liz's face. It was a look of solid determination, but there was also concern, too. It was clear she wasn't budging.

Heaving a soft sigh, Samar shifted just enough for Liz to be able to get in as well. As soon as she came in, Samar was aware of her taking off her jacket. "It'll be okay." She murmured then leaned towards her to press the jacket to the wound. She couldn't stop the soft cry of pain that escaped her. "Shh." Liz whispered, and the warm, solid presence she had brought Samar some comfort.

\-----

They had been waiting for an hour. And it was the longest hour of Samar's life. But thankfully, having Liz there to talk to her helped a lot. It provided a distraction, something else for her to focus on other than the brutal virus wracking her body. She listened dutifully to Liz talk about the life she could've had before Reddington made his presence known. She wasn't surprised to hear that Liz was jealous. Anyone with eyes could see the connection between her and Red. She winced in pain, and Liz pressed down a little harder on the jacket. This time, though, Samar was better at holding it in.

They talked about Carrie-Ann's baby for a bit, and then lapsed into a silence.

"Okay, I can't think of anything to talk about right now, so you need to keep talking to distract yourself, alright?" Liz said.

What did she have to lose? Swallowing hard, she spoke. "When I was younger...one of my missions with Mossad...It didn't go quite like it was supposed to." She whispered, barely recognizing her own voice. "In hindsight, I wasn't prepared for it. But my superiors had faith in me, and I wanted to make them proud, so I went in anyway. The target was a powerful politician. I was supposed to seduce information out of him, but I didn't realize the state he would be in once I got to his hotel room. Seduction wasn't satisfactory enough for him. He wanted me."

"Oh, God..." Liz whispered, sounding horrified.

"I tried to reason with him, but he was too inebriated to even consider listening to me. He wanted what he wanted, and when I tried to refuse him, he held me down and took it for himself." Samar couldn't look at Liz.

"Samar..." Liz whispered, feeling tears well up in her eyes. She blinked them away furiously.

"Not even my superiors know what happened. They just know I got the information." Samar continued as if Liz hadn't spoken. "And it's been so long since it happened that I haven't bothered telling them. I haven't bothered telling anyone, until now."

Liz felt unbelievably touched that Samar hadn't told anyone what happened to her in that man's hotel room, and yet she was choosing to share it with her. She wanted to hunt him down and kill him. "How old were you when it happened?" The words choked Liz on the way up.

"I was twenty one." Samar still wasn't looking at Liz. She felt the urge to cry. Liz could picture it clearly, and then she remembered what she'd seen before she'd shot Perez. He'd been on top of Samar. She suddenly felt sick. The memories that must have brought up for her...

She didn't even know why she was so upset and sickened and _angry._ Herself and Samar hadn't been on good terms since day one. And yet, here they were; Samar, who had tried to keep her from coming in so she didn't get infected, despite the fact that she would've bled out, and herself, who was wary of nearly everyone new since Tom had betrayed her. "No one should ever have to go through that." She whispered, not wanting to apologize in case it annoyed Samar and ruined their tumultuous alliance.

Samar shrugged like it was no big deal. She looked a lot weaker and sicker than she had an hour ago. "If anyone knows, I'm glad it's you." She murmured in exhaustion. "Since you bared your soul to me, I figured it was only fair I do the same." She was so exhausted, and as a result she found her head coming to rest on Liz's shoulder.

"We're going to be okay." Liz whispered, but she wasn't so sure now. Even if they got the cure, Samar could only lose so much blood.

Finally, _finally_ the tape was removed and the doors were opened. The cure was administered, but Liz was barely aware of any of that. She was too busy making sure Samar didn't clock out on her. The paramedics came in and started to carefully load her onto the stretcher, talking about a blood transfusion in the process. But Liz didn't know what her blood type was, so they had to settle for O negative before she lost anymore. Liz stayed stubbornly by her side until they got her a stretcher as well and practically picked her up to lay her down on top of it. She didn't think she needed it, but they just wanted to be on the safe side.

 

Samar was finally out of the hospital. Which should've been a good thing. But it wasn't, because for the first time in eleven, maybe twelve, years, she was having nightmares about that night again. Everything was so horribly vivid. She was jolted back to the present with a sharp gasp, her body shaking. Maybe telling Liz about what happened to her had been a bad idea, because she hadn't been a victim of a nightmare in a long time. The whole encounter with the plague, and the personal conversation that herself and Liz had during that time, had unburied all of her feelings on the subject. Even worse, now it was out there. And while she had faith that Liz wouldn't say anything to anyone, the fear was still present.

Rolling onto her side, she glanced at the clock on her bed side table. 1:00 in the morning. Before she could talk herself out of what she wanted to do, she sat up in the bed, reached for her phone and dialed Liz's number, bringing the phone to her ear. Each ring made her feel more nervous. This was a bad idea. She started to move the phone away from her ear, ready to hit the 'End Call' button.

"Samar?" She heard Liz's tired voice on the other line and brought the phone back to her ear. "Is everything okay?"

Samar's brain was in overdrive trying to think of a reason she could be calling that wouldn't be a lie. "I wanted to see how you were doing after the other day." She said. _Nice save._

"At one in the morning?" Liz clearly wasn't buying it, and by this point Samar had almost no nerve left.

"Yeah." Samar knew this had been a bad idea. "I'm sorry I woke you." _Just hang up now, before you make an even bigger fool of yourself._

"Samar, why did you really call?" Liz asked, shocking her. Samar felt like her throat had closed up, felt the sting of tears in her eyes. Luckily, she didn't need to say a word. "Does it have to do with what you told me the other day?" Liz asked softly.

"Nightmare, it's no big deal." Despite her words, Samar could hear the weakness in her voice. It was clear that she was shaken.

"Do you want me to come over?" There was an open concern in Liz's voice.

"No, you don't have to do that." Samar just felt guilty now. She hadn't meant for this to happen. First she woke Liz up, and now Liz was offering to come all the way to her apartment because of a nightmare? But, at the same time, it would be so nice to not be alone right now.

"I'm coming over." Liz said, and hung up. Samar got out of the bed and grabbed her housecoat. Putting it on and doing it up, she headed downstairs to wait for Liz, being as quiet as possible.

 

The silence as they headed up to her apartment was comfortable and not awkward. She let Liz in first so she could close the door behind them as they entered the room. Samar took off her boots. "Do you want to talk about it?" Liz asked after what felt like ages.

"Nothing happened in my nightmare that I didn't tell you about the other day, so not really." Samar murmured. "I just...I didn't really want to be alone."

Liz nodded. She'd had her fair share of nightmares, so she knew what it was like to not want to be alone. "Two questions. One: What movies do you have?" she asked. "And two: Do you have any alcohol?"

Samar couldn't help smiling. "Of course I have alcohol." She pointed to a shelf. "The movies are over there, and I'll grab the alcohol." With those words, she walked over to the fridge and looked at her stash of alcohol. She pulled out a bottle of vodka, and then moved over to grab them two glasses. Glancing over at the living room, it seemed like Liz had already picked the movie. Samar walked over with the bottle and glasses in hand and settled onto the couch. "So, what are we watching?" She asked curiously.

Liz showed her the movie. "Pretty Woman."

Samar smiled. "Not a bad choice, Keen, I'm impressed." She let her tone convey that she was joking. She placed the glasses on the coffee table and opened the bottle. She poured herself a glass, but stopped before she poured Liz's. "Do you want something to mix with it?" She asked.

Liz nodded. "Yes." Samar started to get up, but Liz stopped her. "You don't have to get up." She headed to the fridge to grab herself something to mix the vodka with. A few minutes later she came back with orange juice and mixed that with the vodka. Samar nodded in approval. Then she capped the bottle, at least until they were done their glasses. Samar got up to put the movie in, grabbing the remote on the way back. She settled back down and pressed play. "I love this movie." Liz admitted softly as they sipped their drinks.

Samar gave a smile. "Me too." She sipped her drink as the movie went on, and soon it was finished. She almost went for another, but decided not to. Samar could barely keep her eyes open, and as a result she let them flutter closed.

Liz was laughing softly at a scene on the TV. She looked over at Samar and found her asleep. A soft smile made its way onto Liz's face at the sight. _I guess all she needed to fall asleep was to know that she wasn't by herself._ She thought, reaching over to turn off the TV. Samar didn't need the extra noise.

"You didn't have to turn it off." Samar mumbled, causing Liz to startle and making her drop the remote in the process.

"Samar, you're pretty much asleep right now." Liz told her gently.

Samar shook her head, and her eyes opened a little. "No, 'm not. Honest." But almost immediately they fluttered closed again.

"I'm not judging." Liz wasn't even sure if Samar could hear her at this point. "You've been through a lot the past couple days."

"Liz?"                                                                                      

"Mm?"

"Will you...stay?" Samar asked drowsily. "Just so...I'm not alone?"

Liz considered this. It was late, and she was too tired to drive herself back. So she nodded, taking a blanket that was placed over the top of the couch and draped it over Samar. "Sure." Her smile widened watching Samar snuggle under the blanket. Liz curled up on the other end and fell asleep, too.

 

Samar woke up feeling very refreshed and calm. But she also smelled food. Confused, she sat up, smoothing her hair down.

"Hey, good morning, sleepyhead." Startled, she looked over at Liz, who was in the kitchen of her small apartment, cooking.

"Liz, you don't have to do that." She was the guest, for crying out loud. Samar swung her legs off the couch and stood up, stretching. She had such a crick in her neck. _Note to self, the couch is not a good place to sleep._ She walked over to where Liz was.

"I don't mind." She said. "Besides, I have a feeling you needed the sleep. How long have you been having these nightmares?"

"They just started." Samar admitted, rubbing the back of her neck as she looked anywhere but at Liz.

"After you told me about the ordeal?" Liz asked. Still not looking at her, Samar nodded. "Samar, I'm so sorry. If I had known..."

"You didn't, and that's not your fault." Samar turned to look at the food as Liz cooked it. "I didn't even know they'd come back because I talked about what happened to me." When she felt composed, she turned her gaze back to Liz. "Thank you for being so understanding, by the way. Despite me waking you up."

Liz shrugged. "I didn't want you to be alone when you were dealing with a nightmare." Samar moved over to grab them two plates as Liz finished cooking their breakfast. "So, after we eat, do you want to finish Pretty Woman?"

Samar nodded. "Yeah, I think I would." After yesterday, Samar felt closer to Liz than she had before. Maybe this was the start of a beautiful friendship. Or something more. Only time would tell.


End file.
